Once Upon A Drunk Regina
by the-notsoevil-queeen
Summary: A collection of one-shots from prompts revolving around Regina getting drunk, all meant to be funny, focused around Outlaw Queen, Captain Swan, and Snowing. Prompts are always welcome on my tumblr! @the-notsoevil-queen
1. The One Where Regina Has Done Everything

_It's game night, Emma suggests playing Never Have I Ever, and, well..._

* * *

"THIS IS BULLSHIT!" Regina yelled as she tipped her head back and swallowed the remnants of the beer in the glass sitting on the table beside her. "You're cheating!"

"I am not!" Robin exclaimed, pressing a hand to his chest in mock astonishment. "It's not my fault your aim is crap."

"My aim is _not_ crap." Regina glared at him and slammed her empty cup on her kitchen table, which had been dragged from the dining room into the living room for the small party Regina was currently hosting. "Care for me to prove it?"

"I'd say you're a little too drunk for fireballs right now," Emma said, taking the ping-pong ball from Regina's clenched fist and aiming her next shot. She tossed it lightly, arcing it perfectly so it dropped into one of the cups in front of Hook and Robin. She jumped and whooped her victory, and Regina rolled her eyes as Hook lifted his cup and took a swig of his beer. Snow and David laughed quietly as they watched Emma gloat her minor success to her pirate.

"This game is awful," Regina stated before turning to grab another beer from the kitchen. "Let's play something that doesn't require hand-eye coordination."

"Why do they even call it beer pong? What makes it pong?" Hook mumbled to Robin, who shrugged and took a sip from his very full beer.

"Never Have I Ever!" Emma yelled suddenly, met by a chorus of confused _huhs_. "It's a _game_ you losers."

"What kind of game?" Snow asked, standing to meet Regina in the kitchen and refilling her and David's drinks.

"It's like a question and answer game, in a way," Emma explained, "Everyone takes turns saying something they've never done. If you _have_ done it, you take a drink."

"It sounds like I'm going to be wasted tonight," Regina groaned as she came back and plopped herself on the couch rather gracelessly.

"It's fun, I promise." Emma took Hook's hand in hers and dragged him to the couch next to Regina, followed by Robin, who took a seat on her other side and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. David and Snow pulled the other couch to sit across from the rest of their family and looked expectantly at their daughter.

"Okay, I'll start," Emma sat up straight and chewed her lip as she thought. "Never have I ever… shot an arrow. So everyone who _has_ , take a drink." She moved her eyes between her mother and Robin, who both lifted their glasses to their mouths, along with David. Emma's eyebrows lifted as Regina took a long pull from the beer in her hand.

"What?" Regina questioned, cocking a brow at the blonde, "I can't shoot an arrow once in a while? I'm dating _Robin Hood._ "

"Well I didn't know you had," Emma defended, shrugging casually, "No big deal."

"Robin tried teaching me once," Regina explained, nodding her head to the man beside her.

"Her aim really is crap." Robin nodded and smiled smugly as Regina jammed her elbow into his ribs.

"Okay, okay," Emma raised a hand cautiously, "so we go clockwise, Killian is next." She turned her gaze to her boyfriend, who pinched his brow. "What have you never done?"

"Uh… never have I ever… worn a dress." He shrugged and watched as Emma, Snow, and Regina took their drinks.

David was next, and shifted in his seat next to Snow. "Never have I ever… used magic." His eyes twinkled as he looked at the woman across from him, and Regina groaned while Emma laughed quietly.

"These are cheap shots!" Regina whined, her head feeling rather floaty as her glass slowly emptied. "I'm being targeted!"

"Hey, I tried giving you a free pass," Emma reminded, "It's not my fault you took up archery."

"In more than one way," Hook muttered, met by his own jab to the ribs.

"Okay, no targeting Regina," Snow insisted, "she's drunk enough. Never have I ever… kissed a girl." She smirked as all the men lifted their glasses, and Regina groaned again before taking her own drink.

"What?!" Emma and Snow exclaimed in unison, receiving a nonchalant shrug from Regina. Robin turned and stared at her, focusing on her eyes that swam with intoxication.

"Mal and I go way back," Regina slurred, "You get bored just talking."

"Oh good lord…" Emma pinched the bridge of her nose and waved a hand at Robin, urging him wordlessly to continue.

"Uh, never have I ever… had sex with Maleficent."

Snow choked as Regina's jaw dropped. She turned to her boyfriend, who grinned playfully at her and ran his hand along her thigh once.

"I'm curious," He stated plainly, his eyes shining as he smiled at her. Regina narrowed her eyes and ground her teeth before sighing and taking a small drink. Snow's jaw hung open and David and Hook burst into laughter, which was quickly hushed by Regina's burning glare. Robin's smile had only slightly faltered by Regina's confession; he seemed afraid to upset her further, but he was enjoying her reactions.

"Okay, it's _my_ turn," Regina straightened her spin and lifted her chin. "Never have I ever had my own child."

"Ah shit," Emma gulped her beer while Snow, David, and Robin took a small sip. Regina glanced over at Hook, and held out her glass for a small _cheers_.

"If we're taking cheap shots," Emma said, "Never have I ever cast the dark curse."

"Hey!" Hook protested, clearly offended, as Emma shrugged and smiled to herself. Regina rolled her eyes as she took a mouthful of beer, emptying her glass as Snow, David, and Hook groaned and drank from theirs. Emma leaned into Regina's shoulder and held her cup out to Robin, who smiled devilishly and clinked his glass with hers.

Regina hopped off the couch, wobbling slightly on her feet, and padded to the kitchen to quickly refill her cup. She could just make out David's "Never have I ever been born a royal" as she reached into the fridge.

"Fuck you, Charming!" She yelled from the kitchen, cracking a bottle of wine and taking a swig straight from the bottle before filling her glass. She'd had enough beer, though she was sure she'd regret mixing her alcohol in the morning.

"You're vulgar when you're drunk!" David yelled back, making everyone laugh.

"I'm always vulgar, asshat," Regina snapped. She glided back into the living room and lowered herself back onto her seat, curling into Robin's side as Snow took her turn.

"Never have I ever… I don't know, kidnapped someone, I guess."

Regina grimaced as she lifted her glass.

"For God sakes Regina!"

"Oh shut it!" Regina snapped. "I wouldn't have done it if you turned yourself in!"

"So it's my fault you kidnapped someone?" Snow asked incredulously.

"Yes!" Regina pursed her lips as Snow dropped her face into her palms.

"This game is getting wild," Hook whispered to Emma.

"It always does." A smug smile spread across Emma's face as she leaned into Hook's shoulder, resting her head in the crook of his neck for a moment. "Alright! Robin please go!"

"Uh…" Robin hesitated, his eyes bouncing between Regina's irritated scowl and Snow's bewildered defeat, before shrugging and saying, "Never have I ever faked an orgasm."

All the women dropped their jaws while the men choked and laughed, and Regina turned to Robin, who was lifting a brow in her direction and failing at repressing his smirk.

"Why can't you ask me these things in other situations? When I'm not half gone and in front of my family?"

Robin simply shrugged and replied, "I'd imagine your answer would be quite different."

Regina groaned and swirled her drink, but held her cup firmly in her grip. She noticed Robin's eyes drop to her drink and bounce back up to her face, and she raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips. "I don't fake it," Regina said plainly, and her boyfriend wrapped his arm around her shoulders, grinning from ear to ear. It didn't escape Regina's notice as Snow darted her eyes around the room and took a quick sip of her drink. Regina threw her hand out, pointing at the younger woman, and erupted in laughter, met by a disgusted groan from Emma at her side.

"What?!" Charming turned to her, and Snow raised her shoulders and smiled meekly at him.

"No! Please!" Emma raised her hands and waved frantically at her parents. "No details!"

"Agreed," Regina added, clearing her throat and continuing, "Never have I ever died."

"Awe come on, Regina!" Hook sloshed his cup and a splash of beer spilled on Regina's carpet.

"Hey! No sloppy drunks!" Regina waved her hand and cleaned the spill in a puff of purple smoke.

Hook tipped his cup back and swallowed heavily before leaning towards Regina and slurring, "Never have I ever had sex against a tree!"

Robin and Regina leaned back in unison, scrunching their brow. "It's not even your turn!"

Hook paused and moved his jaw from side to side before scrunching his own face. "It still counts! Drink!"

"How the hell do you know we've had sex against a tree?!" Regina half shouted, her features screwed up in a way that couldn't hide that she was caught. Her face fell as she turned to Robin, seeing that he was wearing a rather guilty expression, and she whapped him on the chest, hard.

"Ow!" Robin rubbed his chest and frowned at Hook. "Thanks, mate. Good keeper of secrets, you are."

"She started it!" Hook pointed at Regina, who rolled her eyes and took another gulp of wine.

"Never have I ever had sex in public!" Regina countered, and Emma's eyes widened at her friend as her cheeks turned beet red. She exchanged glances with Hook, who offered her a sheepish shrug and a muttered _sorry, love_.

"You told him?!" She shouted, and Regina smiled smugly behind the blonde.

"I didn't!" Hook insisted, doing nothing to quell the battle of rage and embarrassment rolling through Emma. He rubbed his hand through his hair, tugging at the back nervously. "Regina… might have… seen us."

"Emma!" Snow scolded across the room, and Emma shrunk into the couch, burying her face in her palms.

"When does this game end?" Robin whispered in Regina's ear as he ran his hand up and down her arm. She gave him no response, only leaned into him and sipped her wine as she watched the Charmings mortification grow as they looked at their daughter.

"Never have I ever jumped off a cliff!" Emma shouted, and the buzzing amongst the group seemed to freeze. Emma huffed, exasperated, and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "There. No one's done it. The game is over."

"Does a balcony count?" Regina asked, and all eyes flew to her. Everyone's breath was held, and Robin pushed away from Regina gently, reached to tug on her arm and pull her to focus on him.

"What?" He breathed, his brows raising softly, a new sadness taking over his drunken joy.

"Well I... I fell. Or jumped. Kind of both I guess. The railing in my chambers was loose and…" She trailed off, lifting her hand to draw an arc in the air, symbolizing her plummet to the ground. "Tinkerbell saved me. It was the night she showed me Robin." She smiled softly at him, and the knot building in her chest loosened as she found some comfort in his soft eyes. "When she gave me a second chance at true love."

The room fell silent, only the sound of soft breath floating between the three couples, and an array of emotions flashed over Robin's face. Confusion, pain, fear, love, pride. Regina soaked in every feeling she saw, felt it in her own heart, and leaned in to press her forehead into the crook of his neck, revelling in the warmth she found in him, both in his touch and in his heart.

"Well," Hook broke the silence, a little louder than his sober self might have intended, "never have I ever been saved by a fairy."

"Fuck off, Hook."


	2. The One Where Regina Needs Taco Bell

_From the prompt "Regina NEEDS Taco Bell." Let's pretend that leaving Storybrooke doesn't turn you into a tree._

* * *

Sitting around a pile of empty beer cans and half finished bottles of tequila and whiskey, Regina's only thought was how empty her stomach was, and what was left of her beer certainly wouldn't fill her up. She was full of liquor, they all were, Hook was leaning quite heavily on Emma's shoulder and Snow had started mindlessly humming as she twirled her finger around the edge of her glass, but they needed more than alcohol.

On a particularly loud growl of her stomach, Regina groaned and pressed her forehead into Robin's shoulder.

"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse."

"Is that an Enchanted Forest thing too?" Emma quipped. "Chimera and horse? Sounds like something Taco Bell would feed you."

"What's Taco Bell?" Snow asked, and Emma shrugged before sipping her drink.

"It's a restaurant. Not a particularly good one, but… it's cheap tacos so who's complaining."

"What's a taco?" Hook mumbled, and Regina couldn't hold back a giggle at such a question.

"You mean the food, or the innuendo?" She winked when Emma rolled her eyes. Hook furrowed his brow and his girlfriend waved him off, insisting that she'd tell him later, away from her parents.

"I want it."

"What?" Emma leaned towards Regina and cocked a brow.

"I want tacos."

"Regina, there's no Taco Bell in Storybrooke."

"Well then we're leaving Storybrooke." Regina pushed herself up, wobbling on shaking legs, and stumbled for Snow's purse resting on the kitchen counter. She plunged her hand into the bag, dug around while chewing on her lip, and pulled out a pair of keys.

"Who's sober?" Each person looked around the room, trying to decide who had the fewest drinks that evening, and finally Robin shrugged and raised his hand. Regina tossed the keys in his direction, pegging him in the shoulder. "You're driving David's truck."

"There's not enough seats," David tried, met by Regina waving a hand at him.

"Captain Guyliner can sit up front with Robin, the Charmings and I can sit in the back."

"You don't want to sit with me?" Robin asked as he quirked the corner of his lips up.

Regina shook her head, tossing her dark hair around her face. "I need some fresh air if I'm ingesting toxic Mexican food."

"Are we really trusting Robin's driving outside of town? He's not exactly an expert yet." Emma pinched her brow and looked between Regina and Robin, who both pursed their lips and shrugged.

"Better than the rest of us now, I suppose. And I'm not giving up tacos."

Regina headed for the door without looking to see who followed, and climbed into the back of David's pick-up. She situated herself next to the small window of the cab, so she could still talk to Robin, as the rest of her family piled in. Emma planted herself across from Regina, with David and Snow taking seats next to them.

"Be careful, Robin," Emma said, "What we're doing is very illegal, and I am only law enforcement inside Storybrooke."

"It's only illegal if you get caught." Robin winked at her from the driver's seat and revved the truck to life.

"Was that your mindset when you were robbing from the rich?" Regina teased.

"Absolutely. Never got caught once."

"You told me you got shot by Nottingham after robbing one of his guards."

Robin peaked at her over his shoulder, smiling devilishly. "Just 'cause he shot me doesn't me he caught me, love."

Regina rolled her eyes as Robin pulled the truck out of its parking space behind the Charming's loft, not quite missing the curb and sending Regina falling into David's lap with a grunt, and they quickly made their way out of Storybrooke.

After a quick Google search on her phone, Emma announced that the nearest Taco Bell was a 20 minutes drive out of town. Regina groaned at the idea of the next 20 minutes being spent bumping around the back of David's truck, and reached into her jacket to pull out a flask. Each person around her raised their brow at her, and she scrunched her nose before taking a swig and handing it over to Emma.

"It's not my fault I was prepared and you weren't."

With a little direction from Emma, and a quick emptying of Regina's flask, Robin finally pulls into a dark and deserted parking lot, lit only by a glowing Taco Bell sign overhead.

Regina threw out her arm and pointed towards the building. "Drive through! It's faster!"

"It's 3 in the morning, I think it will be quick regardless." Hook commented through the open truck window.

"Just go through the drive through, I'm not stumbling into that health code violation. I'm risking enough as it is."

Snow and Charming laughed as Robin pulled the truck up to the menu stationed at the drive through. Regina turned and sat on her knees, facing the menu and bouncing in her place. Emma rolled her eyes and smiled as she watched her friend hopping with anticipation.

When a scratchy voice sounded through the speaker, Robin cleared his throat. "Hi, uh… we'd like some tacos."

"God Robin, seriously? Have you never been to a restaurant?"

"You know the answer to that question."

"Are those regular or supreme?" The voice, a teenage boy probably, asked through the speaker.

"What the hell is the difference?" Robin muttered.

"I JUST WANT TACOS." Regina yelled as she pushed an arm through the window of the truck and reached blindly around the cab. "THAT'S IT."

"Regina, chill." Emma chuckled as her friend pulled back from the inside of the truck and held Robin's wallet high above her head like she'd just won a prize.

"It's not difficult. Give us whatever thirty dollars gets us!"

"Okay, uh…" The voice paused, and Regina groaned in impatience. "Just pull up to the window."

"DRIVE, ROBIN!" Regina smacked the window beside her, harder than she intended as she made Hook and Robin both jump and scowl at her.

He pulled the truck up to the window, far enough forward that Regina was the one facing the teenager standing next to the tiny opening. She held out the few bills she'd pulled from Robin's wallet and shook them in his direction, and the young boy narrowed his eyes at her, hesitating before he reached out and slowly took the money from her. Regina tipped her head and mirrored his squinted eyes, putting on a rather impressive Evil Queen quality glare.

Before she could say anything to further scare to the boy, Emma lifted herself up and peaked her head over Regina's shoulder. "Sorry, kid. She's a little hangry."

"Hangry?" Regina turned and arced a brow at her.

"Hungry and angry," Emma explained, "and it doesn't help that you're an aggressive drunk."

"I am not!" Regina set her jaw and placed a hand on her hip.

"I have to support Emma there, love," Robin said with a soft laugh. "Let's not forget the twister situation."

"I WON THAT GAME, DAMN IT!" Regina plopped herself back in her seat, smacking her hand on the bottom of the truck.

"Well after you knocked us over with your magic, I suppose." Charming mocked, and Snow giggled when Regina flashed her eyes at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She raised her chin defiantly, drawing more laughs from the Charmings. Emma leaned over Regina to grab the paper bag that the boy was holding out for her, and Regina snatched it from her as soon as she sat down across from her.

The bag was packed full (apparently tacos are very cheap, and thirty dollars gets you a lot of tacos), and they quickly doled out the food as Robin brought them back to the highway to return home.

Everyone was starving, and they sat in a moment of silence as they all finished off their first of many tacos. Once Regina had swallowed the first few bites of hers, she took a moment to stop and look at what she was eating. She pealed the taco open and scrunched her nose as she looked at it's contents.  
"This is fucking disgusting. It's like meat paste with shreds of lettuce."

"There's cheese too." Emma winked at her, and Regina grimaced. This was going to kill her intestines, she was certain. But to hell with it, it actually tasted pretty good. So she shoved the rest of the taco in her mouth without so much as a second thought and dug around in the bag for another.

:::

When Regina woke in the morning, there was a tight pinch in her lower abdomen that was fighting for attention over the pulsing in the back of her skull. She slid out of bed to crawl to the bathroom, and had just enough time to drop to her knees before bile rose in the back of her throat. The sound of her retching was enough to wake Robin, who moved a little lighter than his lover, and stood in the doorway casually, leaning against the wall.

"Now I wonder if that's the tequila or the Taco Bell."

"What the fuck is Taco Bell?"


	3. The One With Spin the Bottle

_From the prompt: DO SOME NASTY SPIN THE BOTTLE SHIT PLEASE LET EM ALL MAKE OUT LIKE ANIMALS IN HEAT, thank u xx_

 _For my lovely Sarah (ginaandrobbie on tumblr), happy birthday sunshine!_

* * *

"Would you two get off of each other?" Regina shouted from the kitchen doorway at Emma and Hook - who were so tangled together you couldn't tell where one ended and the other began - and they quickly jumped apart, both a little red and disheveled from their quick lip lock while everyone had left the room.

"Were they kissing again?" David groaned as he handed Robin a bottle of whiskey from the cupboard.

"Oh I wouldn't call that _kissing_ , too much heavy petting for that." Regina rolled her eyes. "They're like animals in heat."

"I heard that!" Emma yelled.

"Good! Get a room!"

"Gladly," Hook muttered, not quite low enough to keep from floating to the other room, and David choked on his drink.

"Not likely!"

Regina laughed devilishly as she slipped back into the living room, tilting on weak knees from one too many glasses of whiskey or rum or whatever it was they were giving her to drink. She plopped onto the couch opposite Emma and Hook, spilling some of her drink on her lap and shouting a loud " _oh fuck_ " as she clumsily wiped at her damp pants.

"A little too drunk, your Majesty?" Emma teased, earning her a stern cocked brow from Regina.

"As if you're much better, necking with the pirate when your parents aren't looking. You're acting like teenagers."

"Oh I promise we're not," Emma assured her, "This isn't Seven Minutes in Heaven or Spin the Bottle."

"What are those?" Snow asked as she followed David and Robin to their seats.

"They're games teenagers play, they revolve around making out with each other."

"Sounds fun," Hook joked, winking at Emma when she grinned and shook her head.

"It does," Regina added, and the groggy, stiff wheels in her head started to turn through the pools and pools of liquor swirling around her mind. The world felt dizzy, as if she was sitting on water, rocking with invisible waves. This may not be her best idea, but to hell with it, if Emma could make out with Hook, she could damn well make out with someone too.

"Let's play it."

"What?" Emma and Robin asked in unison, with matching knitted brows to boot.

"The bottle one. Let's play it." Regina nodded quickly, sliding from her seat on the couch to fall to the carpet. "Explain the game, Emma."

"Regina…" She started as she lifted off the couch. "You realize we'd all be making out with each other?"

"Yes, and I am far too drunk to give a damn," Regina answered with a shake of her head, tossing her dark locks around her face. "I want to act like a horny teenager too."

Emma put on her best sober face, darted her eyes from Regina to Robin and over to her parents, and sighed heavily when she found no hesitation or objection from any of them.

"None of this leaves this room," she insisted as she pointed a finger at Regina, who nodded once and lifted her fingers to her lips, pretending to zip them shut.

Regina felt giddy, like her insides were fluttering, and she wondered if this was what teenagers in this realm felt like. Teenagers who grew up with friends – friends that were willing to make out with each other.

She leaned into Robin when he took his place on the floor next to her, and whispered in his ear, "You're alright with this?" When he nodded against her cheek and responded with a quick nip at her earlobe, she grinned and turned to face the middle of the circle that the group formed around the room.

Emma hurried into the kitchen, grabbed an empty wine bottle that they'd emptied at dinner, and slipped back into the room, lowered herself next to Hook and placed the bottle in the middle of the group.

"Okay… so we take turns spinning the bottle, and whoever the bottle points at is who you kiss."

"Who goes first?" Robin asked tentatively.

The room fell silent, and when no one offered to be the first to start, Emma groaned and leaned forward to spin the bottle.

It blurred as it whipped in circles, and Regina felt her nerves knotting in her stomach as it finally slowed, turning and turning until the tip pointed towards Hook.

"Oh, how boring," Regina said with a sigh, and she leaned back against the base of the couch and sipped on her drink while Emma leaned over and gave Hook a kiss that wasn't exactly chaste, but certainly wasn't the heavy make out Regina had noticed from the kitchen earlier.

When they broke apart, Emma pressed her fingers to her lips for a moment, clearly fighting a ridiculous grin, and cleared her throat. "Okay, so we can just go around the circle from me. So Killian is next, then Robin, Regina, and so on."

"Alright," Hook said as he scooted forward and reached for the bottle with his good arm, "Get ready."

The bottle spun only a few short times before it stopped, pointing directly at Regina.

She swallowed heavily and met eyes with Hook for only a moment before looking over to Emma. It wouldn't be so bad - kissing Hook - she'd done much more with him before, many years ago, but doing it in front of Emma just felt suddenly… wrong. But Emma nodded, and nothing on her face read concern or discomfort.

Then she looked at Robin, expecting to find something unpleasant or uncomfortable, but he too seemed perfectly fine. In fact, he looked like he was… _eager_. Whether it was the alcohol or simply his libido, he seemed very willing for Regina to get on with it.

If anything, it was in _that_ moment that Regina realized that they were all far too drunk.

But, fuck it. She had suggested the game, might as well reap the benefits.

Before she could think any more – or try to, at least – she pushed herself up to sit on her knees, leaned across the open space, grabbed Hook by the lapels of his jacket, and crashed her lips to his. He felt familiar, in a way, the itch of his beard was different than Robin's, rougher against her skin, but the flick of his tongue against the seal of her lips was what she had expected. He always did it, an instinct he seemed to still have over 30 years later.

At first they held one long, lingering kiss, until Regina deepened it, swirling her tongue around his just the way she knew he liked it, and he groaned and pulled away from her before she could continue.

They hovered together for a moment, close enough to breathe each others' air, before Regina grinned and sat back, reaching for Robin's hand instinctively to calm the fluttering nerves in her belly. Hook plopped back beside Emma, who had instantly lost her calm and collected composure to something that looked like she understood far too much of what just happened.

Snow cleared her throat. "Well… that was… something."

Awkward silence fell over the group, and Regina looked at each person around her, smirking at the uncomfortable looks floating across Snow and Emma's faces. She snorted and shook her head as she lifted her glass to her lips.

"You're such a bunch of babies," she mumbled into her glass, took a long drink, and swallowed heavily before smacking Robin on the thigh. "You're next, babe. Hope you don't get Hook, he's infamous for too much tongue."

"Ay, yes, and we can ignore what _you_ just did to _my_ tongue," Hook countered, met by a grimace from Emma.

"Yeah, let's just move on."

Robin waited for a moment, sighed heavily, and shifted forward to take his turn. The bottle spun wildly and bounced off of his knee, knocking the tip towards Emma. The two looked at each other and both chuckled softly.

"Swapping partners, how charming," Emma said with a laugh. "Come here, thief."

Robin leaned forward, taking a moment to look over his shoulder and wink at Regina before Emma wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled his lips to hers. They're kiss was similar to Regina and Hook's, she supposed, she couldn't exactly know what it looked like from the outside, but they seemed to match in length and amount of tongue.

It was stranger than she'd expected, watching Robin kiss someone else, _particularly_ Emma. There was a small itch of possessiveness under her skin, the instinct to stop him, to tell him that he was hers and no one else's, but it was easily ignored with the swirling clouds inside her mind. Emma had her pirate, Regina had her thief. There was no harm in a little swapping of spit when their inhibitions were so very low and they were so very, very drunk.

They pulled apart with a quiet pop of their lips, and they both smiled despite themselves. When he returned to Regina's side, Robin pressed a kiss to her cheek and whispered a gentle "You're okay?" against her skin.

"Better than ever," Regina answered with a nod, and leaned forward to give the bottle a quick spin. It whirled for only a moment before it pointed at Snow's knee, and Regina's body froze as her eyes blew wide.

Snow's jaw dropped, and before she could argue, Regina waved her hand and encircled her in a cloud of purple, dropping her next to Regina and replacing her with Robin.

They both looked around, disoriented and confused, and Regina grinned and exclaimed, "Oh how perfect, it landed on Robin!"

"I would argue that that's cheating but… I'd really rather not," Emma muttered, looking rather green at the very idea of her mother getting overly friendly with Regina.

Robin simply laughed, waved a hand at his love and said, "Get that fantastic ass over here." She smirked as she shuffled over to him, and he roped his arms around her waist to pull her onto his lap as he pressed his lips to hers. He tasted like whiskey and warmth and love, and Regina didn't hesitate to get a little too intimate, to use a little more tongue than what was appropriate, but, hey, he already watched her shove her tongue down someone else's throat, he really did deserve something a little extra.

They broke apart slowly, dropping feather-light kisses to each others lips, and Robin groaned when she took one last deep kiss before she sucked on his bottom lip, releasing him with a pop.

"You really shouldn't have done that," he breathed into her hair when she turned back to the group, "Now I can't get up."

For a moment she was confused, her mind still dizzy from all the kissing, but when he pushed his hips up into hers, she felt the evidence of his arousal push into her rear, and she snorted loudly. She used her magic to return them to their places in the circle - Snow back beside Charming, Regina still sitting on Robin's lap - and Robin nuzzled his nose into her neck as he slid her rear off of him, leaving her legs draped over his lap, should anyone notice the bulge in his jeans.

"That certainly isn't fair," Robin mutter when he pulled her closer, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Though I suppose I could forgive you, if you had any plans to rectify it later."

She nodded and hummed, giggling like a little girl as David took his turn.

Regina was so lost in Robin as he peppered her jaw and neck with gentle grazes of his lips that she almost missed the bottle tapping against her toes, pointing directly at her.

David's brow shot up, and he looked like he had lost any train of thought he possibly had. Regina simply scoffed and pushed off of Robin, up onto her knees.

"Stop panicking, Charming. Besides Snow, I'm your best option here. Unless you want to have a quick make-out with your daughter's boyfriend."

Hook choked on his drink as he looked over at David, who turned a dark shade of red at the very idea. He took a big gulp of his drink, giving himself time to shake of his momentary blush, and turned to his wife.

"You're sure-"

"Just shut up and kiss her," Snow interrupted, and Regina laughed loudly as she shuffled past Robin's legs to get closer to David.

"I'll take it easy on ya," she slurred as she cupped his chin, pulling his lips up to hers gently. His lips were soft, smooth and sincere beneath hers, far different from Hook's desperation or Robin's love. He was like kissing a cloud, or a pool of water, not a hint of bite or rough edge to be found. God, he really was the stuff of fairy tales.

She left him with only one long kiss, a snail's pace compared to anything else that night, and leaned away from him slowly, giving him a sweet, drunken smile and a soft pat on the cheek.

"See. Not so bad, hey tiger?"

David rolled his eyes and gently pushed Regina back towards Robin, who wrapped his arms around her waist and tugged her back onto his lap. She let out a shrill squeak, and they cuddled together as they watched Snow lift off the ground and gather a few empty glasses.

"What are you doing?" Emma asked.

"I don't think I should participate," Snow said, "If my options are my step mother, my daughter, or her boyfriend."

"What about me?" Robin asked cheekily, and Snow raised a brow and tilted her head.

"Somehow 'boyfriend of my step mother' still doesn't sound right."

"You could get Charming," Regina reminded her with a smirk.

"Not worth the risk." Snow left the room balancing several empty glasses in her arms while Emma grinned and reached forward to spin the bottle. As it whirled around in circles, Snow shouted from the kitchen, "Who wants a refill?"

The bottle slowed to a stop and pointed right at Regina's toes.

She inhaled sharply, her gut twisted harshly, and she looked up at Emma. She, too, couldn't hide the panic in her eyes, and Regina's voice cracked when she yelled back to Snow, "Yeah I could use a drink."

Snow slipped back into the room, carrying newly refilled glasses, and froze when she saw the state of the group, all shocked into silence. She raised her brow and muttered, "Well this should be fun."

Regina lifted herself off of Robin to grab her drink from Snow and she took several long pulls, leaving the glass now half empty, and swallowed thickly as her heart pounded in her chest.

It wasn't that Regina had a problem kissing a girl, quite the opposite in fact, but it was _Emma_. They shared a child, they were best friends, _family_ , she couldn't possibly… but she had to. _Shit_.

"Maybe we are too drunk…" Regina tried, her words slow and awkward as her foggy mind tripped over each racing thought. "We could just-"

"Shut up and kiss me." Emma stared at her, and her stern composure was only skewed by the sly smile quirking the corners of her lips. Her eyes swam as much as Regina's, but her gaze was still steady, certain.

Regina considered making a snide comment, _what a line_ \- _like mother like daughter_ , but she couldn't move, her limbs felt like lead, pinning her to Robin's side, and before she could move even an inch, Emma leapt from her place across from her, throwing herself at Regina without a second thought, and the shock that shot through Regina when her lips connected with Emma's was lightning in her veins.

It shouldn't have surprised her, that was what it was always like kissing someone with magic, whose veins are filled with a fire that not everyone possessed, and for a moment she wondered if this is what Robin felt when he kissed her. Still, she couldn't stop the shocked stutter of her heart at the electric tingle that raced through her skin as Emma's lips parted around hers, tangling her tongue with her own. She felt delicate fingers slide up her neck and grip in the short hairs at the back of her head, and a flash of heat rolled off of Emma, burning Regina in every place their skin met in the most delicious way.

The muddy swirling of her mind seemed to flash into hyper speed, and before she could spend any more time twirling her tongue around Emma's, savouring the sweet and sharp taste of her, she pushed herself free, their lips parting with a loud smack.

The air in the room felt heavy, as if it was pressing on Regina's lungs and sucking any breath from her throat. Or at least, it was for the two women. They sat in stunned silence as everyone giggled and commented on the lingering kiss between the Saviour and the Queen. Robin wrapped his arm around Regina's waist, pulling her into him as he nuzzled his nose into her hair.

"That was quite something to witness," he teased, and Regina laughed half-heartedly. "Are you alright? Your skin feels kind of hot."

"I'm fine." Her voice sounded strangled, and she was certain she hadn't convinced him in the slightest, but still he didn't push her, instead he chose to take a long pull from his drink as he watched Hook take his second turn, spinning the bottle until the tip knocked against David's foot.

"NOPE, not happening." Hook threw his arms above his head and pushed off the ground as the room burst into laughter, distracting Regina from her shaking insides. She noticed that Charming was as red as a tomato again, his laugh choked and forced, and she burst into laughter at his misery.

She watched as Emma fell to the floor, holding her sides as she laughed, and the tension in her heart loosened when her emerald eyes flashed over to her, a wordless understanding transferring between them.

They'd never be talking about this night again.


End file.
